Take a look at something I came across on Deviantart today. Okay, I didn't find it by chance; the artist sent me a link. I thought it was weird for someone to just ask what I look like out of the blue, but Sabrina does that when she wants to draw someone. I guess you need to know who you're drawing right? Anyway, I don't really own any of those clothes...but I so want to now. And that scarf...is awesome. However, I do own a purple iPod, so good job!
Heh, the face is pretty accurate too. Now the reason I'm not getting much sleep is because I'm up 'till 1 or so playing Silent Hill Origins, a game that I'm totally not hating as much as I expected to. Yes, since Christmas my life has become disturbingly normal again, and with any luck, it will stay that way.
...
And now that I've said that, you can all start counting the days until something awful happens.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Greetings
Just dropping by to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
I want to go play with my shiny new PSP nao.
EDIT:: Nothing of note happened to me on the solstice. Nothing really troubling has happened in a while. Should I be worried? I hope not.
I want to go play with my shiny new PSP nao.
EDIT:: Nothing of note happened to me on the solstice. Nothing really troubling has happened in a while. Should I be worried? I hope not.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
(Song) Doubt.
(Darn, I accidentally uploaded it in HD. No wonder it took so long. Now it's stretching the page; that's really going to annoy me DX)
"A companion song to Resolve.
Sometimes our resolve wavers and we begin to doubt ourselves. But that's okay. Everyone gets discouraged some times. If you tire of fighting and struggling, just give up. Follow the melody with slow purposeful steps, and dance to an uncaring tune. Defiance will always be rewarded with pain.
A sorrowful song meanders into the night as you leisurely follow behind.
That's what this song is."
And that my friends, is why I'm not a poet.
And I swear I remember making this one. I know because I loves me my accordions and this song is full of 'em.
I am in an exponentially better mood now, and I think Christmas Break might have something to do with that. I love Christmas, even if it means that the radio is useless for the month of December because EVERY STATION EVER will only play stupid Christmas music. Except the one heavy-metal station. That's a plus.
No more sightings of Heno girl, but I did get another note. It says the same thing as the last one, but it's on a small, line-less piece of paper and it's painted instead of written in pen. I'm using it as a bookmark. In the past three days or so I've been sleeping just fine and there's been no weird songs on my computer when I wake up. Which is also making me happy.
And in only a few short days, I get to find out just what exactly is going to happen on the Solstice. Whatever it is, I hope you all (especially Zero) stay safe/alive. That would be ideal.
"A companion song to Resolve.
Sometimes our resolve wavers and we begin to doubt ourselves. But that's okay. Everyone gets discouraged some times. If you tire of fighting and struggling, just give up. Follow the melody with slow purposeful steps, and dance to an uncaring tune. Defiance will always be rewarded with pain.
A sorrowful song meanders into the night as you leisurely follow behind.
That's what this song is."
And that my friends, is why I'm not a poet.
And I swear I remember making this one. I know because I loves me my accordions and this song is full of 'em.
I am in an exponentially better mood now, and I think Christmas Break might have something to do with that. I love Christmas, even if it means that the radio is useless for the month of December because EVERY STATION EVER will only play stupid Christmas music. Except the one heavy-metal station. That's a plus.
No more sightings of Heno girl, but I did get another note. It says the same thing as the last one, but it's on a small, line-less piece of paper and it's painted instead of written in pen. I'm using it as a bookmark. In the past three days or so I've been sleeping just fine and there's been no weird songs on my computer when I wake up. Which is also making me happy.
And in only a few short days, I get to find out just what exactly is going to happen on the Solstice. Whatever it is, I hope you all (especially Zero) stay safe/alive. That would be ideal.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Afraid?
School's closed today because of the snow and ice. It's just as well; I don't really want to go anyway. Right now, the thought of stepping outside my house fills me with dread. Now that I think about it, the thought of even leaving this room makes me feel the same.
It's not fear really. I just feel safer right here.
I've been doing a lot of thinking. Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do. Thinking about music. Thinking about the masked girl. About that note (no one's figured it out yet. what are you waiting for?). About me, and you and Him too. And for all my thinking, I'm nowhere closer to a solution to anything than I was yesterday. So for now I'm content to just sit here in my dark room and think.
I've started another song. It's a very un-creepy one this time. It's based off another blogger, but I'm not telling who just yet. Just having my fingers on the piano keys is very comforting. And worrying.
It's not fear really. I just feel safer right here.
I've been doing a lot of thinking. Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do. Thinking about music. Thinking about the masked girl. About that note (no one's figured it out yet. what are you waiting for?). About me, and you and Him too. And for all my thinking, I'm nowhere closer to a solution to anything than I was yesterday. So for now I'm content to just sit here in my dark room and think.
I've started another song. It's a very un-creepy one this time. It's based off another blogger, but I'm not telling who just yet. Just having my fingers on the piano keys is very comforting. And worrying.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
It got worse.
I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.
Since that first creepy song “appeared” on my computer, several more have as well. Some of them are so awful that I can’t even listen to them; they just give me nasty headaches. I didn’t go to the trouble of posting them because they don’t even sound like songs, just random noise and someone pounding on a piano. I still don’t know if I really believe that I made them, but noting else makes sense. No one else could have.
I want to uninstall the program, but I can’t. If I try to go too long without writing something I just...I don’t know. It’s pretty much the only thing I want to do nowadays which is pretty unnerving in and of itself. It’s not all I do though. I still make an effort to go out places and I talk to my friend as much as I can. No matter what I do, at the end of the day I’m still alone in my room with my computer and my piano.
And that’s no even the best part.
I was driving home from Japanese lessons earlier. It was later in the evening, about 6 or so, and it was already pretty dark out. Snow had piled up a couple inches deep and with the wind blowing, it was cold as heck. I was driving along a residential street, mostly just trying to make sure I was going the right way since I’d only driven through this part of downtown a couple times before and I’m always worried about getting lost. And I’m really good at getting lost.
I saw her standing underneath the eerie orange glow of a streetlight.
She wore a lacy black dress, white stockings, and black dress shoes. She looked like she was dressed for church, not for standing around in the snow. Everything about her seemed so extraordinarily out of place that I couldn’t help but stare. Of course, there was one little detail that elevated her presence from strange to terrifying.
She was wearing a mask.
It was a white, featureless mask with a “Henohenomoheji” sloppily drawn on with a permanent marker. That’s such a weird choice for a mask. It’s not really threatening in the slightest; the odd expression just made it look like she was glaring questioningly at me.
Since that first creepy song “appeared” on my computer, several more have as well. Some of them are so awful that I can’t even listen to them; they just give me nasty headaches. I didn’t go to the trouble of posting them because they don’t even sound like songs, just random noise and someone pounding on a piano. I still don’t know if I really believe that I made them, but noting else makes sense. No one else could have.
I want to uninstall the program, but I can’t. If I try to go too long without writing something I just...I don’t know. It’s pretty much the only thing I want to do nowadays which is pretty unnerving in and of itself. It’s not all I do though. I still make an effort to go out places and I talk to my friend as much as I can. No matter what I do, at the end of the day I’m still alone in my room with my computer and my piano.
And that’s no even the best part.
I was driving home from Japanese lessons earlier. It was later in the evening, about 6 or so, and it was already pretty dark out. Snow had piled up a couple inches deep and with the wind blowing, it was cold as heck. I was driving along a residential street, mostly just trying to make sure I was going the right way since I’d only driven through this part of downtown a couple times before and I’m always worried about getting lost. And I’m really good at getting lost.
I saw her standing underneath the eerie orange glow of a streetlight.
She wore a lacy black dress, white stockings, and black dress shoes. She looked like she was dressed for church, not for standing around in the snow. Everything about her seemed so extraordinarily out of place that I couldn’t help but stare. Of course, there was one little detail that elevated her presence from strange to terrifying.
She was wearing a mask.
It was a white, featureless mask with a “Henohenomoheji” sloppily drawn on with a permanent marker. That’s such a weird choice for a mask. It’s not really threatening in the slightest; the odd expression just made it look like she was glaring questioningly at me.
She didn’t really do anything. Even though her face was covered by her mask, I could tell she was staring right at me. Some things you just know. I didn’t stop, I didn’t slow down; I just kept driving until I couldn’t see her in the rear-view mirror anymore. My heart was racing pretty much the rest of the drive home.
I just...I never expected this. Reading about these things happening to other people is one thing, but this just made it seem real. Well, that’s because it’s not just happening to someone else. It’s happening to me too. I don’t even know what to think right now. I’m still exhausted. I want to write another song...but I don’t want to. I just have to keep typing until I forget this happened. Maybe once I see it in text form, it will start to look like just another silly blog post.
I’m not really looking forward to going out anymore. I don’t know who I’m going to run into.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Paranoid?
Yesterday I was sitting in my room doing my math homework and listening to my iPod through my mini stereo. I reached over to turn it off, but I wasn't paying attention and I hit the switch that turns it from iPod to radio.
I was greeted with a loud blast of static. Being the sensible Silent Hill fan that I am, I threw the thing across the room and proceeded to check my closet for monsters.
That being said, I don't think I'm paranoid.
Not that much anyway.
I was greeted with a loud blast of static. Being the sensible Silent Hill fan that I am, I threw the thing across the room and proceeded to check my closet for monsters.
That being said, I don't think I'm paranoid.
Not that much anyway.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
(Song) 3341
I'm going to be perfectly honest with you guys: I don't remember making this song. I was looking through my music folder and happened to find and MP3 file named "3341". At first I thought I must have downloaded it from somewhere, but then I found that the original project file was saved in the same folder. Put simply, if the original project is on this computer, it is reasonable to assume that the song was made using this computer. No one else but me can even use this computer (I use a password) and furthermore, I'm positive no one else in this house knows how to use the music making software.
I guess that just leaves me.
I tried opening the project file in FL Studio, but every time I do I get this message:
ERROR#
V2hhdCBpcyB0aGUgbWVhbmluZyBvZiB0aGlzIHNvbmc/DQpUaGlzIHNvbmcgaGFzIG5vIG1lYW5pbmcuDQpXaGF0IGlzIHRoZSBzaW4gaW4gdGhpcyBzb25nPw0KVGhlcmUgaXMgbm8gc2luIGluIHRoaXMgc29uZy4NCldoYXQgaXMgdGhlIG1lYW5pbmcgb2YgWFhYWFhYWD8NClhYWFhYWFggaGFzIG5vIG1lYW5pbmcuDQpXaGF0IGlzIHRoZSBzaW4gaW4gWFhYWFhYWD8NClRoZSBtZWFuaW5nIG9mIHRoaXMgc29uZyBpcyBYWFhYWFhYLg==
:INVALID REQUEST:
And once I close that window, the program shuts down. Looking at that message, it looks like there should be more to it. But I suck at codes. Someone help me out here.
And here I was in a good mood today because I finally got a full night of sleep. Then I wake up and find this.
Thank you for all the support in the comments of the last post. But I think it's officially too late now. Like I said, even if I were to delete this blog (which I have no intention of doing) and moved on with my life, this whole...thing is not something I can just forget. No matter where I am or who I'm with, my thoughts always drift back to you-know-who.
Now that I look back, it's clear that I never really had a chance to begin with.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
(Song) 遊吟の歌
遊吟の歌
Yuugin No Uta
Song of the wandering Minstrel.
Almost forgot about this one. I don't know. Everything I make sounds wrong to me. I can't figure it out.
Oh well. It's something, right?
My house is pretty much surrounded by trees like the picture in the video. I used to think it was pretty, now it's just creepy.
Download MP3 Here: http://www.sendspace.com/file/os4e6s
Saturday, December 4, 2010
More whining and a present
Have I mentioned that I hate school? Because I really do.
I've always felt like the odd one out. The weird girl that always sits at the back of the room. It's not like I'm an outcast or anything. I have friends (well...a friend), I just...I dunno. I don't like going out of my way to talk to people, then I get mad when no one goes out of their way to talk to me. How much sense does that make?
It's only gotten worse though. Now that I look back on the past week, I've noticed that I barely talked to anyone. I'm not even really sure what the heck I was supposed to be learning either. I know, it seems weird that I'm just noticing this now. These past few weeks I've had a lot of deja vu and "did I really do that?" moments. Naturally I think my lack of sleep it to blame. Still, I always seem to have a sense that I'm forgetting something. Like, there's something that I should be doing that I'm not. It's more annoying than anything. I stay up late into the night, just trying to write more songs. I make so many things that I never finish. Nothing sounds right to me. But I keep trying. I don't know what else to do if I stop.
Other than that I guess I've just been...bored. Not depressed, but just kinda "bleh". Nothing but music really interests me right now. My parents keep trying to cheer me up and stuff, but somethings I just want to be left alone. Arrg, here I am complaining again. What do you care anyway?
However, something did happen this morning that got my attention. And not exactly in a good way. Early this morning I found this on my front porch:
I laughed when I saw it. If this is someone's idea of a joke, it's awesome. If the intention was to "scare" me, you're going to have to try harder than that. Yes I know what it says,no I'm not telling. Figure it out for yourself why don't you?
嘘つきはだれ?
Usotsuki wa Dare?
Who's the Liar?
I've always felt like the odd one out. The weird girl that always sits at the back of the room. It's not like I'm an outcast or anything. I have friends (well...a friend), I just...I dunno. I don't like going out of my way to talk to people, then I get mad when no one goes out of their way to talk to me. How much sense does that make?
It's only gotten worse though. Now that I look back on the past week, I've noticed that I barely talked to anyone. I'm not even really sure what the heck I was supposed to be learning either. I know, it seems weird that I'm just noticing this now. These past few weeks I've had a lot of deja vu and "did I really do that?" moments. Naturally I think my lack of sleep it to blame. Still, I always seem to have a sense that I'm forgetting something. Like, there's something that I should be doing that I'm not. It's more annoying than anything. I stay up late into the night, just trying to write more songs. I make so many things that I never finish. Nothing sounds right to me. But I keep trying. I don't know what else to do if I stop.
Other than that I guess I've just been...bored. Not depressed, but just kinda "bleh". Nothing but music really interests me right now. My parents keep trying to cheer me up and stuff, but somethings I just want to be left alone. Arrg, here I am complaining again. What do you care anyway?
However, something did happen this morning that got my attention. And not exactly in a good way. Early this morning I found this on my front porch:
I laughed when I saw it. If this is someone's idea of a joke, it's awesome. If the intention was to "scare" me, you're going to have to try harder than that. Yes I know what it says,
嘘つきはだれ?
Usotsuki wa Dare?
Who's the Liar?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
(Song) Slendy's Watching Me
"That's right, a song with words. One thing that's often overlooked in the Slenderman stories (the more recent ones anyway) is that fact that he's supposed to be associated with kidnapping children. I, and many others, often wonder what happens to those children. This song it sung from the perspective of a child that's being "stalked" by Slenderman. Is he really playing with them, or is he hunting them? I guess we'll never know.
I just like the idea of a sweet and happy sounding SM song. I like to think that wherever they are, those children are happy like the one in this song.
I used the demo for the vocaloid Nekomura Iroha for the vocals. As he name might suggest, she is not an English-speaking vocaloid so her pronunciation is way off. Sorry about that. In the zipped file below, I've included the karaoke version. So if you make a cover (which I would love btw), don't forget to add it as a video response." (from YT cuz I'm laaaazy)
I'll admit it. I love this song. I will file this under my proudest achievement at the moment.
And I freaking love accordions. Why are they so awesome?
Thanks for the nice comments everyone. I'm feeling much better now.
...
Well, I got some sleep at least. It's a start.
LYRICS
One AM, I toss and turn, awake in my own bed
I can’t sleep because of a creepypasta I read
Against my better judgment, I peek out of my window
And I find a frightening figure standing down below
A black suit, a black tie, and he seems to lack a face
I looked away for a moment, he was gone without a trace
And I thought
Even if he’s shy
What a charming guy
I don’t have to worry
‘Cuz I know Slendy’s watching me
No one else sees him, it seems
He follows me in my dreams
He doesn’t like to talk a lot but that’s okay with me
He’s really tall and good at blending in with all the trees
Some days when we’re all alone we play hide and seek
But he always finds me every time, I think he cheats
“He’s so mean” they say
But he just wants to play
I don’t have to worry
‘Cuz I know Slendy’s watching me
No one else sees him, it seems
He follows me in my dreams
We’re going to a place where our fun will never end
Where I can always play games with my newest best friend
I don’t know when I’ll be home but I don’t feel too bad
But I wonder why mommy and daddy look so sad
I don’t have to worry
‘Cuz I know Slendy’s watching me
Mist rolls in and braches sway
He’ll come for you another day
MP3: http://www.sendspace.com/file/rcck22
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
One More Time
Sooo...
As you may have gathered from my last post, I'm not really feeling the best right now. It's no big deal really. Mostly related to stress and my complete inability get any freaking sleep.
And...it might also have something to with you-know-who. In the sense that I've mostly spent my long nights reading blogs and writing more music. I keep looking over my shoulder and out the windows, but I never see anything.
Did I mention that this blog got listed on unfiction as a possible slenderblog? Seriously? I don't know that I've really posted anything on here too slenderblog-y (though this post is starting to sound more and more like one). I promise, as soon as I see a tall guy in a suit hanging around outside my house, you'll be the first to know about it.
But...
Is it wrong to kind of wish to see Slendy? I mean, it would certainly be one of the more interesting things that ever happened to me. Maybe that's why I'm so disappointed whenever I look outside and see nothing there. Then again, I definitely don't want to meet him. As far as I've seen, just seeing him is as good as a death sentence. Or worse in some cases.
I'm totally rambling here. I can't even really think straight. I'm going to go try and get some sleep. As an apology for being so mopey, my next post will be a very special one. I've just finished a song that I've been working on long before I started this blog. I'm very happy with how it turned out and I think you'll like it too.
As you may have gathered from my last post, I'm not really feeling the best right now. It's no big deal really. Mostly related to stress and my complete inability get any freaking sleep.
And...it might also have something to with you-know-who. In the sense that I've mostly spent my long nights reading blogs and writing more music. I keep looking over my shoulder and out the windows, but I never see anything.
Did I mention that this blog got listed on unfiction as a possible slenderblog? Seriously? I don't know that I've really posted anything on here too slenderblog-y (though this post is starting to sound more and more like one). I promise, as soon as I see a tall guy in a suit hanging around outside my house, you'll be the first to know about it.
But...
Is it wrong to kind of wish to see Slendy? I mean, it would certainly be one of the more interesting things that ever happened to me. Maybe that's why I'm so disappointed whenever I look outside and see nothing there. Then again, I definitely don't want to meet him. As far as I've seen, just seeing him is as good as a death sentence. Or worse in some cases.
I'm totally rambling here. I can't even really think straight. I'm going to go try and get some sleep. As an apology for being so mopey, my next post will be a very special one. I've just finished a song that I've been working on long before I started this blog. I'm very happy with how it turned out and I think you'll like it too.
"Hope. That's what you bring to those that fight it. I just watch and cheer them on. I wish I could do what you do." -ZeranEmpire on YT
Wow. I'm so special.
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