The choking feeling of not being good enough. What did I do this time?
It's warmed up quite a bit today, which is good because I hate snow. I went to the park to go for a walk earlier today. The snow is like a blanket the muffles sound and makes everything so much quieter. I guess I don't hate it that much. As I walked, I could see the imprints where children had been sledding sometime before and I sort of regretted not bringing a sled myself. I'm still a child at heart I guess.
She was there. The idiot with the idiotic mask. Seriously, is it supposed to be scary? Because it's not. There she stood without a coat and up to her calves in soaking wet snow, not really seeming to care at all. As always, she was fixated on me. She spoke to me again. It wasn' a threat or a message of any importance. Just insults. Words that shouldn't have cut as deeply as they did, especially coming from someone like her.
I kept walking, never taking my eyes off the shoveled sidewalk.
My fingers were turning red in the cold. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my gloves.
I slipped the purple gloves onto my hands.
"Can't you hear them laughing at you?"
And then she was gone.
Something about her voice is familiar. Maybe I've met her before. Maybe I'd recognize her without the stupid mask? There's something about her presence too. It brings up feeling of inexplicable rage. Who is she? Why does she think she has the right to just stand around a taunt me? I hate her. I fucking HATE that little no-good fucking bitch.
See what I mean? Her petty name calling just should not piss me off as much as it does. What a way to spend Valentines day.
I feel sick. Very very sick.